Turning Over a New Leaf

Turning Over a New Leaf
By Rebecca Eberlin, Ph.D.
January 11, 2012

Happy New Year! Each year we encourage families to look back and reflect on the things they are thankful for and celebrate life with their friends and family. Reflection simply forces to us to slow down and contemplate what went well and what our challenges were. It also gives us an opportunity to jump into the New Year focused and (hopefully) energized.

I grew up in a relatively large family. As an adult, I often look back and wonder how my parents managed four children with personalities that were similar in some ways, but very different in so many other ways. One of the reasons I am blessed is that I am best friends which each of my siblings. No joke. And while there may be many reasons for this, I am certain of one. My parents always gave us the opportunity to “turn over a new leaf.” We may be best friends now – but that does not mean there wasn’t fighting when we were growing up. Like all families, my brothers, sister and I each had moments when our behavior toward each other was genuinely terrible. Yet from an early age our parents taught us the importance of resolving conflict, instead of walking away from it.

At the end of any major sibling issue, there was always the feeling of disappointment. For me, I thought that not only had I disappointed myself, but I had disappointed my brother (or sister) and certainly my parents. Regardless of the issue, my parents encouraged us to start fresh, to turn over a new leaf and begin again. The reality is that everyone gets into arguments and fights. What matters is how you handle or resolve the conflict.

The New Year is just like this. No matter what took place last year, this is a time when you can reflect on all the choices you’ve made – both those that have given you great results and perhaps some that have not. Decide which choices you want to continue making and which ones you might want to shift in a different direction. Make this year the one in which you focus on what you do well and keep doing it. At the same time, give yourself the opportunity to turn over a new leaf.